Hello again Fangirls! Today I bring you an Image comics spectacular; The Pro (by Garth Ennis, Amanda Conner, Jimmy Palmiotti, and Paul Mounts). Unlike Herogasm, I’ve been excited to reread this since I first read it. As the title suggests, this is a comic about a prostitute.
The book starts with her getting gyped. Some John won’t give her the fifty they agreed on for his head, and when she pushes him for hit, he whips out a gun and threatens to kill her. So she skedaddles, and we see an alien. The Voyeur, excuse me, Viewer. He sits in outer space seeing who he thinks would be a good superhero. He makes it clear that he believes anyone, even a prostitute, can be a super, if given the right guidance.
So he blasts her. Well, not the same way her clients do, but he shoots her with a superpower-administering-gun. She wakes up to her baby’s cries, floats over and starts to care for him. She doesn’t seem to notice anything different until she rips the window frame from it’s spot in the wall. Outside, is the League of Honor. A hell of a lot like the Justice League, these guys take her back to their place to give her a costume and some guidance.
But mid-guidance, an alarm goes off, forcing the League (and their newest member) to rush to fight some bad guys. The first one to get hit is our girl (now known as The Pro), and boy does it piss her off. She throws her assailant around by her boobs, beats the shit out of her face, then pees on her. But the goody-two-shoes in the League don’t appreciate her actions. She leaves, and reads herself for some well earned vengeance.
That aforementioned dickwad of a John? She finds him. And she finds all of the ladies who he has wronged. And let’s them have a go at his ass, literally. They use everything they’ve got; from hedgehogs to rocket launchers to tear this man a new asshole. Again, literally.
The next morning, the League’s captain, the Saint shows up in the Pro’s house just in time to stop that very same John from killing her baby. In gratitude, she blows the Saint. But his load is so strong that it chops the wing off of a plane. It’s his job to save them, but he forgets his pants. Scandal follows him, and the League sits down the Pro. The Saint tells them that he didn’t want the blow job (lies, I tell you). Right before they’re about to kick her out, the alarm sounds again.
Terrorists and a hostage situation. The police, the League and the Pro work together to stop the hostile invasion. But when there’s one guy left, he screams, “Allah Akbar” and they realize he has a bomb. The Pro rips off his arms so he can’t release the pressure gauge, but then she’s stuck with the bomb. And when the police check it out, the find out its a nuke, and it’s going to go off in 5 minutes, pressure or not. So the Pro flies into space and leaves the League to care for her son.
Fangirls, this is a damn good book. She isn’t the hero we’re used to, and I found that really refreshing. I also loved that when all of the League are laying into her for sucking the Saint’s dick, she tells them how fucked up they are. And if you think about it, she’s right. If there were superheroes today, we’d think they were a bunch of creeps, only helping sometimes. And no matter how much you help, it’s never enough. So it was fantastic to have someone confront the supers about it.
If you’re looking for a book with a strong female lead and aren’t afraid of vulgarity, check this book out. It’s funny and crude, and in the best way possible. Plus I think it does a great job explaining prostitution to survive. Read on, and sex it up now and then!
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