The Geek’s Guide to Dating by Eric Smith

Fangirls and Fanboys, I was so excited for this book. A book about dating specially tailored for those with stereotypically bad social skills? Heck yeah. I was going to read this book, but Eric Smith himself tweeted that Amazon was having a sale on his audiobook, so I thought I’d check it out. It was under $5, so of course I was on that like the proverbial white on rice.


I honestly thought I would listen to this far more often than I did. I assumed that I’d just be ready to listen to it all the time; while walking, cleaning, and writing. But through this book, I’ve learned that maybe audiobooks aren’t for me. I realized that if I want to listen to an audiobook, I have to be doing nothing else. I’m happy I didn’t spend crazy amounts of money to find this out, but the book is definitely worth more than $5.

So, this book is not written for me. It’s written by a dude, for dudes. That’s totally okay, it doesn’t mean Fangirls can’t get in on the Dating Guide and learn a lot, and the important thing is, Smith recognizes that. In the very beginning he writes something along the lines of “it isn’t specifically for ladies, but you can use these tips. You can also use them as a sneak peek into what dudes are doing.” I appreciate that.

Overall, the book is great. There are all sorts of tips and tricks for meeting and dating women. There are some awesome references, and a lot of information (not just on women, but on realizing who you are as a geek). It’s neat, hearing ideas and plans and how to’s. I appreciated the information. The main thing I had to keep reminding myself was: this was not written by a woman.

I have been touched when I didn’t want to at conventions, I’ve been creeped on and mocked at comic shops. I’ve been called a fake geek girl. This book advises against all of that, thank goodness. But there are definitely things I wasn’t about. Maybe it’s because I’m bad at social situations, or because I’m very picky about dudes. And I had to keep reminding myself: this book wasn’t written for me.

I liked listening to it. I didn’t like the whiney female voice the narrator used. I am aware that it’s done by the narrator, not the author. Maybe things got lost in translation. If so, I’m sorry. If not, cut it out. Another thing I didn’t like: the section on the friend zone.

I have some issues with the concept of the friend zone. In my eyes, it doesn’t exist. Friendship isn’t something that should be demonized. If a girl wants to be your friend, be her friend. He mentions that Leela eventually fell for Frye, even though she originally only wanted to be his friend. That makes sense. She’s a person, who probably wants friends. I know I would rather befriend someone before dating them; otherwise it feels like diving in too quickly. I know that is my opinion, but I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.

Fangirls and Fanboys, this book is super interesting. I learned a bit about dudes, and I’m sure other ladies have as well. More importantly than that, Smith reminds readers & listeners that women are not Princesses to be rescued. We’ve got shit to do, and we’re most likely going to do it with or without you.

Go check out the Geeks Guide to Dating. Listen to it or read it; consume it in whatever way you can, you’ll learn a lot. And boys, remember that women tend to be just as independent as you can be. Don’t judge ladies by our covers, and don’t mock our interests. And know that the next con I go to where I can do speed dating, I’m going to check it out.


You can buy Eric Smith’s The Geek’s Guide to Dating here, here, or here.

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