Let’s Talk About: Porn

pornOh boy, Fangirls, the day has come. I’ve wanted to talk about porn for a long time but have never worked up the nerve. It’s a hot button topic in the world of sex, and everywhere else. I didn’t know which angle to approach it from, exactly what to say, or how to represent all the different perspectives out there. But I decided to face all the uncertainty and write the article anyway. 

So, bare with me. Porn is a wild thing. It can’t be tamed. Which is both good and bad. A lot of people, a lot of sex positive people, think that they should think that porn is wrong. But that is silly. Porn is fantastic. If it’s non-malicious and consensual, everybody is agreeing to what is happening, it’s safe, and isn’t degrading anyone, unless that is part of the shtick. I know most people are thinking that porn like that doesn’t exist, but that isn’t true. Lots of it does. We just have to understand that there is a difference between porn and the porn industry. A lot of the not so good things about porn come from the later, but porn itself, when made right & respectfully, is wonderful. That is what I’ll be focusing more on. Discussing the rights, wrongs, and morals of the porn industry is something that is way too overwhelming, and way too much of a separate topic for me to write about right now.

Porn alone, when it abides my good moral & legal rules, is a beautiful thing. It’s something exciting designed solely to get you off in the way that you like best. It’s a beautiful way to explore sexuality. People think porn is for creepy dudes who masturbate all day and who are lonely addicts. That is very, very not true. Porn is for everyone. Seriously. There is porn out there for every type of fetish and paraphillia. Which, can sometimes get dangerous, but again, that’s for another article. Certainly, porn can be addictive and have it’s share of negative impacts on a life or relationship. But even though a lot people don’t realize or believe it, it’s got more than it’s fair share of positive effects, too.

As I said earlier, it’s common to think that porn is for lonely dudes that wank all day. But that couldn’t be more wrong, all types of men and women watch porn. 670px-Control-Premature-Ejaculation-Step-2Those men & women watch all types of porn when they’re single, when they’re in a relationship, alone, or together with their partner. That’s right, it’s not bad or weird or anything but perfectly fine to watch porn with your partner. It’s actually a great thing. In relationships, watching porn together can increase dedication, arousal, and intimacy together. Both in and out of a relationship, porn is also great for bettering communication, which in turn is going to lead to better sex. So, don’t hide your porn watching from your partner, ask them if they want to join in! It’ll inspire you to try new things, and find out what each other really like.

On your own, porn can help you find out what you like too. Just be sure to not set unrealistic expectations of what people are supposed to look like, what sex is supposed to look or feel like, or that you should be reaching outrageous orgasms each time you have sex. Sex just isn’t always like that. Keep in mind that porn is designed to get you off, it’s often made to be a big fantasy coming true, and fantasies are often unrealistic. Expectation is one of those unhealthy boundaries that you can easily cross over with porn; Why isn’t my dick that big? Why don’t I look like that? Why isn’t my girlfriend that expressive when I make her cum? Is that bad? If porn is making you feel insecure, maybe step away from it for a bit, and have a conversation with yourself or with your partner about how you’re feeling. Porn is meant to make you feel good. porno nb blogIf porn is for you, have no fear. There is a lot of stigma attached to people who watch porn, but fuck all that. Porn is a fantastic thing, that is more than okay to watch whether you’re by yourself, with a partner or with a friend. Porn for everyone!

 

 

All images and characters depicted are copyright of their respective owners. 

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