I have a lot of issues with my body; the way it jiggles and how muscles never seem to be defined. I don’t like that I break out in acne often because of my exercise & facial cleaning routines. I don’t like the way my thighs rub together when I walk or run; not just because I don’t like how it looks, but that’s something that can genuinely hurt.
I didn’t really know what to title this, or honestly to what end I’m writing this. It’s not a reaction to something that was said, nor is it an attack on those who have different opinions than mine; I just needed to write it down. The other day I posted the below photo in my Instagram story, because I realized that I use a lot of products daily. As soon as I posted it, I realized that though my friends aren’t usually the type to assume, some folks may see that as a way to either humble brag that I spend too much on products (1. It’s my money & 2. I’ve actually slowed my spending tremendously because I have so much product that hasn’t been used yet), or to show how hard I work to make myself look good.
Yesterday I started a lot of firsts, all in one go. I registered for my first half marathon (dang that’s daunting), which is in Disney World, and is a Team In Training event.
I feel like this week is my goal for every week. I didn’t feel overwhelmed at all, I exercised every weekday (and I will be continuing that after work tonight), and I got a good amount done. I haven’t played Breath of the Wild since Sunday (when I beat my second Divine Beast), and that’s because I’ve been incredibly wrapped up in Anna Kendrick’s book; Scrappy Little Nobody. I’ll be posting my thoughts on that tomorrow.
Up until last night this week was a-ok. I made cupcakes for work, I pet a dog, and I hung out with a child. It was a lot, but seemed like a good situation. Last night, however, when I got home from work, I started to make the frosting for the aforementioned cupcakes. I’m excited about this whole cupcake frosting combo because it’s character themed and I have been thinking about it for awhile. But anyway, I had to make frosting.
It’s me. I haven’t been journaling here because I haven’t been posting as much as I’d like. I feel like work has taken over in a way where I can’t concentrate on things I care about as much, but I’m working to make that less true. It’s one of those things where I have to get into the swing of it, and try to ease myself back into writing while doing all of the other things.
Fangirls I’ve been suffering from a very severe depressive episode as of late. For me (and many others) that means an extreme loss of interest, increased negative thoughts, and just an influx of sad. It’s difficult for me and my significant other to deal with; there’s a lot happening in my brain, and most of it is bad. In minor attempts to combat the feelings and thoughts, I’ve been doing research at work; we have access to workshops, and some of them are specifically for mental disorders.